What Makes A Good Mom?

I’ve been struggling a lot with this question lately.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time with my family can see how much I love my daughter. Quite simply, she is the most amazing little adult in a two-and-a-half year old’s body. She is sweet, sassy, smart, kind, helpful, caring, independent, cuddly, beautiful, polite, fun, silly, serious and just overall spectacular.



I’d love to take credit for all of that and simply based upon her attributes, deem myself a fantastic mother.



However…



I subscribe to lots of different parenting blogs, many of which post activities and print-outs and games. Do you know how many of them I’ve actually done with her?



NONE. But the fact that I subscribe has to count for something...right?



A lot of the other moms that I know (granted, most of them are either SAHMs or work part-time or other weird hours so they're home with their kids more than I am) post status updates and pictures about fun things that they do with their daughters, like tea parties in the living room and crafty things and educational things.



I hate the fact that I have to work full-time and can't be with her full-time, so when Friday rolls around and I have three whole days with my girl before heading back to work on Monday, you would think I’d make the most of it and really spend some quality time with her doing things that will enrich her life and create wonderful, warm, fuzzy, happy, fun memories.



But I don’t. For a few reasons. First of all, I’m not really all that creative. I would never in a million years come up with the idea of a pink princess party and let her drink strawberry milk from a real (yet fake) water goblet. I’d never think to go on a walk looking for “wild animal” (read: dog) tracks.



And if I DID think of those things, chances are that I’d be too lazy to actually do them.



*GASP!* DID I JUST ADMIT THAT? DID I REALLY PUT THAT OUT THERE?!



I’m lazy. If I’m not cleaning something, I’m really quite boring.



Do you know who is the best storyteller in our house? My husband. He is AWESOME at reading books to our daughter. He will be patient when she asks questions like “What’s that? What’s that? What’s that? Who’s that? Who’s that? Who’s that?” He’ll also ask her questions that make her think, like what color this object is or how many of them are on the page. I, on the other hand, want to just get through the story as quickly as possible. Personally I do love to read. Twilight, Harry Potter, anything by Sophie Kinsella, I’m all about it. Reading ALOUD, on the other hand…not so much.



I’m not into coloring. I’m not into following her around outside while she pushes herself on her new bike (because she’s still too short to actually peddle) to make sure she doesn’t just stop in the middle of the street to sit and stare at a tree.



We did bake cookies and cupcakes last Easter! Oooooh, score points for me!



I don’t try to get her to trace numbers or letters yet. She’s still having constipation issues (good grief) so potty training has fallen completely by the wayside and we’re back into diapers (it’s safer this way, trust me). We don’t play with blocks together or make finger puppets or paint with water colors or anything. I’m just not into it.


Wow, it’s a good thing I never did stick with my original plan of becoming an elementary school teacher.



When she gets hurt, I’m the first person she runs to for comfort. When she wakes up in the morning, I’m the one she calls. I put her to bed every night and say her prayers with her and sing her a song if she asks. I know that she loves me. And I know that she’s the most awesome kid in the world.



But I can’t help feeling that I’m not even close to being an awesome mom, never mind the most awesome.



I feel like the only mom in the world who doesn’t do special things with her child, who doesn’t really “play” very much or make things fun.



I want to be a good mom. I want her to have great memories of growing up and spending time with me. I want her to get the most out of her childhood. But I already feel like I don’t have any time to be myself anymore, to lounge on the couch and watch TV all day like I used to on Fridays.



I miss my old Fridays, when I would sleep in until 9 or 10, work out, drink three cups of coffee with my favorite creamer while catching up on my soaps on the DVR, then shower and spend the afternoon either chilling on the couch or shopping or cleaning or just relaxing, while looking forward to a night out with my husband and a weekend filled with adult things that didn’t involve requesting highchairs or making sure we had 25 extra diapers and at least two changes of clothes (including shoes) and an endless supply of Wet Ones and hand sanitizer.



I adore my little girl. She makes me happier than anything else. But I don’t think the fact that I love her that much makes me a good mom. There’s an element of selflessness that goes into it that I feel like I just don’t have.



And I wish I did.