Fortunately AND unfortunately for me, I have a three-day weekend every week. I work four 10-hour days Monday-Thursday. It's worth it on Friday mornings when I have the entire day with my girl. Come Monday, it sucks.
Anyway...so Friday morning Pat made me a healthy breakfast, an apple caramel granola breakfast thingy from Hungry Girl's book 200 Under 200. I can't remember the real name. Heck, I'm lucky if I remember MY name. For lunch we went to Hummus House and I've already blogged about that. We went to dinner Friday night with some friends of ours to a place in Melbourne called Bizarro's. It was really good...but I had the penne alla vodka. I know...it's horrible. And I had a glass of wine.
But WAIT! It gets better!
Or worse. Depending on how you look at it.
Afterwards, we went to Cold Stone!
I feel like a loser. In lots of ways.
This morning, we went to Simply Delicious for breakfast. I started out really well, ordered the fruit platter with cottage cheese and their homemade multi-grain bread. Then Pat gave me some of his potatoes. Which were also delicious, but...actually, scrap that! Potatoes are vegetables, they fit right in!
Okay, so breakfast wasn't that bad. Go me!
When we got home, I made the baby a PB&J (actually, it was PB and homemade pear preserves, courtesy of my sister-in-law, Trish) and I heated up some V8 Butternut Squash soup.
And...I had some Tostito Lime chips. Geez. Two steps forward, four steps back. I screw myself up.
Then we went to a spa party tonight, which was lots of fun. I had some of the champange punch, some green olives, a chocolate chip cookie, and too-many-to-count of the little smore things.
I'm going to do better. I really am. Maybe tomorrow. Weekends are hard!
On another note, I've been thinking a lot about my battle with stress. Before I got pregnant, I was the kind of person who could just roll with the punches and go with the flow for the most part. If things didn't go the way I'd planned, I would just work around it and find another way or find something else entirely. Ever since I became a mom, it's been the complete opposite. I get stressed EVERY time something doesn't work out the way I had it in my head that it would. I don't have patience. I'm constantly anxious and I do need to feel like I'm in control because otherwise, things spiral down and I freak out. It's not good. I know this. I don't know how to fix it. Just saying, "Let it go, you can't control everything, get over it!" doesn't help. I know this, I just don't KNOW this. Ya know?
I guess it's how being a mom has changed me. It's not necessarily a mom thing because there are plenty of moms that I know who are a LOT more laid back and easy-going than I am. I wish I could be like that.
Maybe it's because I want to have control over making sure my daughter is safe, healthy, happy, well taken care of, good-mannered...yada, yada, yada. All those good things. So I feel like I need to control everything? Something like that. I don't know.
I think that's why this whole weight loss thing has been such an issue. It's not going at ALL how I'd planned it to go, and I feel like I can't control it. Regardless of the good habits that I put into place, I can't make the weight go away.
What I do know is that I'm exhausted and I have to go to bed. I'm praying tomorrow will be a better eating day.
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Do you not remember our conversation over guilt? Do you think you might be seeing that in your own way now? Hand it over to God. I (of all people) know how hard that is...I struggle with it as well. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteHey Missi. Don't beat yourself up so much. I had taco bell at 2am and today I ate a dessert in honor of national smores day. It happens. Can I make another suggestion? Too late, I'm gonna do it anyway. Once you get into your own place and can control what's in your pantry, only allow the healthiest of snacks to be stocked in your house. (There are so many of them that are yummy and won't disappoint) Then when you're out you might feel better about splurging because at home and work you're always keeping it light, baked, and fiber-licious.
ReplyDeleteAt one point in my life, a friend (Corey mcknight) said a few words to me that have never left my head. I was always uptight, worried and felt the same way you do when plans go the wrong way. It would stress me out to no end. He simply said "Kathy, you gotta learn how to chill out and let things happen the way they happen. If you just go with it you'll be happier in the long run". Nothing deep or profound about it, but it created a spark. I never forgot that and I just started doing it. Granted I still have my moments, but it totally changed my way of looking at things and I stress out waaaaay less. I figured I pass the words along just in case they might help. Hope you're having a good day.